The hidden weight of competence

Competence is often praised as a strength, the hallmark of trust, reliability, calm. But for many women in leadership, it quietly becomes a weight.

When you’re known for being capable, the system starts to lean on you.

More requests, more expectations, more silent holding.

You don’t even notice it at first, until the balance tips.

What once felt like confidence now feels like constant management.

This isn’t about workload. It’s about identity.

Being the one who “can handle it” becomes so ingrained that letting go feels risky.

But competence without boundaries slowly turns into depletion.

It keeps everyone else upright, except you.

The shift begins when you realise: being capable doesn’t mean being endlessly available.

True capability includes the capacity to pause, to delegate, to choose where your energy flows.

Strength is not in how much you hold, it’s in knowing what’s yours to carry.